Trump’s hair returns to petting zoo

Trump’s hair returns to petting zoo

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Donald Trump, wealthy presidential candidate, has had to get rid of Horatio, the guinea pig living on his head, after learning of its Mexican heritage.

Horatio is a long haired guinea pig that Trump picked up from the Manhattan Petting Zoo in 2001. After bringing him home, Trump fell asleep on his couch, and Horatio crawled out of his pen and onto Trump’s bald head. He did not realize Horatio was up there, and while he was walking down the stairs of the Trump Tower, he was complimented on his hair.

“I put my hands up to my head, and Horatio was just sitting there, asleep,” Trump said.

During his time on “The Celebrity Apprentice”, producer Mark Burnett discovered that Horatio was the only living thing to stay asleep when Trump shouted at the contestants.

On Trump’s controversial Twitter profile, he tweeted “It’s gonna be tough to move on after losing Horatio. Anyone who thinks I could just move on from this is a moron.”

In an NBC interview with Katy Tur, Trump showed a sweater he knit for Horatio with the words “You’re Fired!” across the chest and little cut out Trumps around the sweater. With teary eyes, he claimed that he wasn’t crying during the interview, he just has awful wool allergies.

When Tur asked how Trump discovered Horatio is not a US citizen, Trump recalled the events.

“I was about to go to sleep last month, and I heard a voice on the other side of the wall talking in Spanish. I walked into the room and saw Horatio sitting there in his pen with my phone. I demanded to see his birth certificate, and Horatio refused to show me. I looked into it myself, and discovered he’s from Mexico City.”

Trump will therefore release Horatio back to the petting zoo soon. He says that he is hurt after this and plans to stay out of the spotlight until it all combs over.

A documentary about Horatio’s life will be airing on “Animal Planet” on October 2, 2015.

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